Update

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve updated my blog and I think, after reading several references to blogging in my newspapers and other fairly serious publications, this form of communication is now going the way of the Hummer. It’s now “tweet tweet” and I’ve started to do a bit of it myself, although I have to say that being someone who, on occasion, had (or has) “diarrhea of the brain,” I find it extremely restrictive.

The last eight months have been very busy for me – teaching digital photography and watercolor on several cruises. Rena and I have had many great times revisiting places we had already been on prior vacations – but this time without having to pack and unpack a hundred times. The economy didn’t seem to affect the passengers on our cruises – because, dear reader, you would think you were part of the “Bataan Death March.” These people were ancient. Since I manage, with a lot of cunning, to avoid looking at myself in a mirror, it’s very easy for me to say that. I swear the best entertainment would have been to have all the people with walkers run against those with canes, wheelchairs, and battery operated self-propelled gizmos. The winner would have won a free burial at sea. You were in perpetual danger of having your toes squashed. It reminds me of the time they interviewed a couple in The Villages. The husband and wife were both legally blind and had, by law, to surrender their licenses. Their quote was: “Thank God we moved to The Villages, where we can get around in our golf carts!”

Being an extreme liberal (aren’t all Democrats from Massachusetts extreme) I was one of the first people on the planet to give money to the Obama campaign (twice as a matter of fact). It’s good – I can relax a bit now that Rush Limbaugh is alive and well. Perhaps I won’t be the only Democrat in The Villages Democratic Club. I was very lonely there for a while. It’s nice to see that the McCain/Palin bumper stickers have finally disappeared – perhaps a Palin/Limbaugh ticket will be the intellectual strength for the next Republican onslaught.

I gave up two things in the last eight months – golf and painting. After 65 years of playing golf it’s finito. After my last hip operation it was just too painful to play (both physically and psychologically). I’m surprised – I don’t miss it. Lots of good memories but it’s all in the past. I can pass a golf course without a flinch!
Watercolor painting is a different story entirely. I’ve done a lot of painting and have been, up to a point, satisfied with what I had accomplished. There isn’t a technique I haven’t mastered – up to a point that is. I’ve painted with brushes, knives, razor blades, cardboard, etc. etc. I think most people have liked what I’ve done – and I stuck to one principle – that I would only paint what I wanted to paint, and that I would never sell one of my paintings. That way no one could dictate what I wanted to do. Eventually I ran into a brick wall – I love abstracts and I’ve seen so many I loved that I wanted to paint abstracts. I found out that I can’t – it’s that plain and simple, and so I’ve given up entirely. My brain just doesn’t let me see anything other than what I can see – too bad but c’est la vie as they say in Poland. I have packed up all my equipment and delivered all of it to my daughter in Atlanta. She has shown an interest in Acrylics and watercolors – so the baton is hers – tadaa. I have no regrets – “if at first you don’t succeed try something else.” I’m now devoting time to my photography and cooking – two pleasing pastimes.

http://picasaweb.google.com/donmarchand/MyWatercolors#

Yikes . . . the bottom looks too close!

"Men stumble over the truth from time to time, but most pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing happened."

- Winston Churchill

I was just thinking of life in general, and mine in particular.

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been climbing the “mountain of life” for 75 years, and now I’m at the very top and ready to go down. Seventy-five years and when I look at the bottom it’s only 10 feet down! All that energy to have gone almost 10 feet high is pretty stupid. Somehow the meaning of life escapes me – thank you Monty Python.

But (never start a sentence with a preposition, or is that a conjunction?), now that I’m at the top I just don’t want to look back at a 75 year-old road. Why? I just don’t want to be reminded of all the thousands of stupid things I’ve done. Now, at the “twilight” of life, I’m given the opportunity of thinking of lots of "claptrap" I’ve learned – and believe me most of it has been the hard way (read lots and lots of mistakes), and lots of good things too, of course.

At this point I think I’ve earned the right to be called a “sage.” I have been given that great honor by “ME!” As a sage I am now able to simplify life by giving you simplistic rules on “living.” Here are a quick few to start with:

PHILOSOPHY:

A few years ago I bought a book on “The World’s Greatest Philosophers.” Did you know that most of them committed suicide? Well, they did. So the best advice here is not to think if you can help it. The more you think the more the black and white of life becomes all grey. You then begin to think that there are really problems we aren’t smart enough to find solutions for. Example: Lots of people in the world are starving and dying for lack of food. Find a solution to grow and distribute more food, and soon all these people are now procreating, bringing forth more and more children, and then there will not be enough food to feed these new people. There are thousands of these conundrums. Avoid frying your brain - stop thinking!

War:

There will always be war – and there will never be world peace – so don’t sweat it. There is a very small part of the male brain that forces us to fight first – and if you're lucky enough to survive the fight - you just might be able to talk later . Since the beginning of time men have fought (read war) for everything.

Two Neanderthals meet for the first time – and obviously one of them has stepped into the territory of the other. They both carry big sticks.

“Hello, my name is Org. I’m sorry to bother you, but I thought I might borrow some fire, since the rain put my fire out. I’ve traveled fifty moons and suns, and you’re the first person I’ve run into.”

“F---k you, Org, you stepped into my territory – WHACK!”

And to this day men haven’t learned to talk or negotiate first! WHACK! But we’re lucky now – no more big sticks – nuclear wars are much better. One of these days we will elect some jerk who inadvertently lies on the red button while screwing the Secretary of State and blows up the world. Don’t laugh, it could happen. Cuban cigar anyone?

Luck (good and bad):

Except for the fact that I know how to use a screwdriver and hammer, a computer, a TV remote, know where the nearest Starbucks is, and drive a car without killing myself, all those supposed skills would be pretty useless if I had I been born as part of some nomadic tribe on the Serengeti Plain. It’s just dumb luck that I’m white, born to good parents, and lived when I did. I don’t think I have any greater skills than others who have been born in the wrong place. I can think of hundreds of places where I might have been born and ended up in some place in the world picking up spilled poop behind a“Honey Wagon.” So if you think you’re brighter and smarter than others think again – it’s just dumb luck that you're where you are. You could have a higher IQ than Einstein, but ended up tending a flock of Sacred Cows on some god-awful street in some remote town in India. What kind of luck is that, my friend?

Men and Woman:

Men and women are different animals – period! I’m convinced that if women ruled the world there wouldn’t be any wars. Read “Men are from Mars, Women are from Hell" (oops, I mean Venus) by Dr. John Gray. If you read and believe what's said in this book most of your problems with women (or men) will disappear (not all – but lots).

Politics:

Believe it or not someone has to run things. It’s the way it’s been done since civilization began, and not everything has to be Democratic. Give a million uneducated people guns and liquor without some political structure and you will have anarchy, and no one will survive. (Hell, I think I’ve been describing West Virginia). I honestly believe in politics, but only if I get involved. How, you say? For starters how about reading and understanding the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. How will you ever know what rights are being taken away from you if you don’t know what your rights are? My suggestion is that you vote – it’s that simple. If your candidate wins – all well and good, and if he or she loses you can moan and groan – but regardless you are part of the process.

Religion:

Most people laugh at the concept that early man idolized fire. Well, at least they could see what they were idolizing – and while they were seeing “spirits” in the fire they could at least roast marshmallows or dead rodents on a stick. A million years later we are now so sophisticated that we build huge temples where people gather to worship something they can’t see; looking up to the ceiling or down at their shoes for someone who they say is everywhere. My view is that you would be much better off sitting on the toilet – where there is some modicum of quiet – and contemplate what you can’t see. I think I’m going to start a new religion – Toileterians (tax exempt of course). There are obvious advantages to being a Toileterian - you can pick your nose while contemplating – since it’s only between you and God – and don’t you think that God picks his nose while waiting at a stop sign? He’s a guy, for Pete’s sake! There are many more advantages to being a Toileterian, but for the time being I’ll let you contemplate them.

Art:

I think there are four types of Art:

Stupid

?????? (Also known as "what the hell is that?"

Commercial

and I Like It.

Stupid Art: There are people who actually buy and display art done by elephants, worms, and the latest I’ve seen is Tiger Woods hitting paint balls onto a canvass wall – and someone will buy it! Stupid art for stupid people.

???? art: A few years ago I walked into the Museum of Modern Art in Chicago and before me was a large wall – and hung on the wall was a canvass about 10 feet by 40 feet. ???? . It was all white - the only thing not white was the artist's signature! Incredible - and some art expert had taken the time to explain this painting in some esoteric way. Wow. Although I like most art, and many of the abstracts were interesting – if any of these were displayed at a garage sale you wouldn’t touch it with a ten foot Pollock (that's Jason Pollock in case you didn't know).

Commercial art: There is a world of art dealers and critics who do nothing except take mediocre or crap art and through writing and marketing convince people that the art is “priceless.” Rich people buy this “art”, but because its “priceless” they have copies made and put the originals away. This junk is not art – just investments to be bought and sold. I'm absolutely enamored with a painting of 40 campbell soup cans. You can buy the original for 48 trillion dollars.

My last category is "I Like It": Don’t let anyone tell you that what you like in art isn’t art – that’s bunk. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If it’s dog poop on top of a bunch of grapes and you like it – that’s all that matters – period. Enjoy!

Money:

Money is neat stuff. Before money you had to drag around bags full of cabbages, lettuce, cod pieces, live and dead chickens, pigs feet, etc. to barter with. With money you can pay people to drag these things around for you. Nice to have money isn’t it?

Well, that’s if for now – but let the “Sage” know what you would like me to comment on and I’ll put them in my next blog.

Ciao (that’s goodbye in Eskimo)

Economics using GSL (Government Silly Logic)

Good morning class. What a nice group we have – all eager to study economics – usually a very dull subject replete with charts, graphs, and lots of math. But, the next few classes are going to be fun! Using GSL, we strip economics down to its basic structure. Like all good economics courses we’re going to use case studies to illustrate the concepts of GSL.

Our first discussion is on “Recession” because that’s what we are in today. We rate a recession, not as a word, but as a simple little chart:

Chart 1:

Degrees of recession:

1 is very very mild . > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >10 is catastrophic

(See depression on Wikipedia)

(End of chart)

We are now in phase 5 (which means you should be reasonably afraid – but do not have to change your pants just yet.) Phase 5 means hundreds of thousands will lose their homes, millions will be in credit card default, the housing industry and U.S. car industry will poop in their beds, and as many small business will go “poof.”

Let me try to splain. In the very old days (about 15 years ago) – when you wanted to buy a house or a car, you usually marched (or slumped hat in hand) to your local bank and asked for a loan. The bank, because it was their money (or if you were a depositor it was partly your money), did a background check on you to make sure your employment history was solid, and you could afford to make the payments. They also wanted you to put some of your money down so that if you defaulted it would hurt you as well as the bank, and probably a lot more since you would have to declare bankruptcy, which was a stigma you didn’t want on your record. They checked every reference, and if they could would have taken your child as collateral.

Chart 2 (word chart}:

“No money – not funny – No house you louse”

shorted to “No Mon – No Fun”

(End of chart)

One magical day Wall Street decided there was lots of money to be made in the mortgage business! The “brains,” in their infinite wisdom, went into the men’s room and came out with a marvelous plan.

“Hello, Mr. Banker, do we have a sure-fire money-making venture for you. We know that you are not normally greedy, but how about this?”

“When a customer walks into your bank you fill out the paperwork, you charge all sorts of fees and closing costs. The neat part of this is that you don’t have to lend your money! You become a processor of paperwork – and no risk for you - you keep all the closing costs you can think of - pots of money of you for very little work.. How’s that for a great idea bunky!”

“Oh, by the way, you will also be pleased to know that we also devised another great plan (see scheme in Chapter 3 of “How to get people to spend – no money needed)” in the Wall Street publication “How to Make More and More Money from the Unwary.” For every person who signs up for a credit card, you get a percentage of what we charge. We take it out of fees we charge businesses and usurious fees to people who buy but don’t pay right away; great for you, great for us.”

“The Street” took these mortgages, millions of them, and put them in piles, Then they took each pile, put it together in million dollar (or more) investments, and sold each pile to really big investors. These “investments” were guaranteed to return a steady stream of money. What a deal! You couldn’t find out who had your mortgage – none of your business.” The banks, of course, also gve credit cards to everyone – including your dog!

Well, I won’t belabor the point – you’re all pretty smart anyway – since the banks and mortgage companies didn’t lend their own money – they didn’t give a (what’s another word for really stinky manure?), about checking the information on the applications; money flowed from the font of love, prices sky rocketed for housing, your house was worth so much more than what you paid for it, and banks were more than happy to lend you money on your equity. What a deal!

Then the housing market crashed and little by little people couldn’t pay – and the housing bubble went “boom!” but the boom sounded like air out of this enormous tire (pssssssshit). In the proverbial words of Corn Furious the “Fit hit the Shan” and we are in Phase 5. It’s a little more complicated than that of course – but you get the gist. From the immortal words from me:

Chart 3:

“Every Bubble must break”

(End of chart)

Chart 4:

• Buy House for $150,000 with $10,000 down. You owe bank $140,000with easy payments based on prime rate – 2% - your payments were based on the 2% plus another 3% = 5%
• Two years later house worth $300,000 (yippee)
• You borrow $50,000 from equity. Bank happy to lend you money. You now owe bank $190,000 (interest still cheap)
• You buy new car, take vacation, HDTV, and braces for kid. Housing boom go pssssssshit – prime rate now 6% - your payments 9% - House value back to $150,000. You continue to spend on credit cards so you meet payments on other stuff. You no can pay house payments - you no can sell house – bye bye house. Bye bye credit score.

• Buy curtains for car – you may have to live in it.

(end simple chart) 

Oh oh, there goes the bell – we’ll continue this tomorrow, when we talk about

“The Government to the Rescue - DUH”

How much of YOU is you?

Through the years, and especially recently, I’ve started to seriously wonder how much of ME is really me. If you think that’s a strange thought hear me out – then make up your own mind as to your own uniqueness.

I’ll lead up to my premise slowly.

My father came from a large family (13 children). All of them were short; my father was 4’10” in his stocking feet, and I think as he got older he got shorter and shorter. The men were bald and the women were, to be frank, on the cusp of ugly. All of the children looked exactly like my great-grandfather except one aunt – who fortunately looked and acted like my grandmother. She was the only daughter who got married!

All of the boys were intelligent, fiery, loved to argue, had a booze gene (my grandfather was a binge drinker), and hard workers. But here’s something about them that is perhaps more interesting, they were all kind, protective, strong family men, argumentative, and above all never bore a grudge against anyone. It seemed as if they were dumped into the world with the same wiring. “Yes Otto, connect that part with the loose wire, believe me, I’ve done this family at least 12 times. We have to be consistent.”

When I was born I came out of the void looking just like my father. I have to tell you I was a pretty ugly baby – a miniature Mahatma Gandhi. Not that my dad looked like Gandhi (just a metaphor).

Somehow Otto was still working in the same old job when he connected me up. He connected all the loose wires and came up with ME – a pretty close clone of my dad. I look at my hands and I see my father, and look into the mirror and I see his eyes, and when I get passionate or angry I feel his temperament. I’m not certain what percentage of me is not really me, but genetics from the old family tree are there for all to see.

Then, there is environment. I’m not absolutely certain, but I don’t think Otto connected many mommy wires to me. I’m not a bit like my mother in a genetic sense, nor have any of her family traits. None of her family had much in the way of humor genes, very straight-laced. My mother, in her defense, was the most honest and the most loving parent that ever lived (except of course your own mother; one side note here - she could carry a grudge to her grave). Not that my father didn’t have wonderful traits, just that her beliefs were so much stronger. My mother was not, in any sense, a religious fanatic, but was a deeply religious Catholic – to her very last breath. So, a lot of me today is also based on my environment in my formative years. Interestingly enough, I don't bear grudges - must be my extremely short memory.

Just a wild guess at this point, but I feel that 40% of me is genetic (don’t sweat the figures, just a guess); would also fathom that another 30% is early environment. (By the way, if you don’t believe that environment plays a part in your makeup, just read about the Hitler Youth movement or today’s Muslim schools in Pakistan and Afghanistan). “Get them while they’re young!”

And now for the last 30%. Perhaps 10% of that is my personality based on years and years of fighting my genetics and environment. From Catholic to agnostic – long and hard fight; “Your country right or wrong” to “Love democracy but don’t trust your government;” “Live Free or Die!” to “Hold on there pardner, can we talk about this?”; “If you’re against the war, your un-American!” to “Hold on Cheney, put one finger in your ear and one in your tochas, then switch! (ooops, sorry Mr. Vice President – that was un-American).

My flossaphy is quite simple – You can love your friends or family, but perhaps not like some of the things they do - isn't that normal? If that’s true, then why can’t I love my country but not like some of the things it does? ("it’s Guantanamo for you – jerk-off"); am I getting too political here?

I would venture to guess that the remaining 20% of me is influenced of by my environment after my childhood. It’s your guess as to whether that 20% is good or bad – don’t ask me – I haven’t a clue.

So, dear one, if you don’t like my religious views, take it up with mom; my politics?, (dad was a Democrat and mom was a Republican) – see dad; my cynicism, see me. But please remember, there isn’t a lot of me that’s Me!

BTW - my dad and mom are in the spirit world now, so if you need to speak to them just dial 1-800-OHI-ICGOD.

Keep on truckin’

Dear God . . .

“Good morning, Office of God, Adolph speaking. May I help you?”

“Yes, Adolph, perhaps you can. My name is Don Marchand and I would like to speak to God. Is he available?”

“Oh yes, Mr. Marchand, I see you’re on our Do No Call List – the A list to be exact.”

“A list?”

“Yes, that’s for atheists and agnostics.”

“Well, I’m an agnostic, of course, but that doesn’t mean I don’t believe in something. I actually believe that anything in the now and the hereafter is possible. That’s why I called 1-800-OHI-CGOD. Thought by chance it was a real number.”

“Well, Mr. . Marchand, you see it is don’t you. How can I help you?

“As I said earlier, I would like to speak to God please.”

“Unfortunately he’s not here at the moment, and he’s quite busy for the next month or so.”

“Well I'm disappointed, of course. I just wanted to ask him a few questions. Can you tell me what he’s doing that’s so important, Adolph?”

“Yes, in particular this week he’s helping Ben Bernake save Wall Street. This is an important priority since he’s always saying ”The Rich get richer, and screw the poor!” Just a little joke there, he really didn’t say that. Can’t always be serious up here – pretty boring with all this harp music and Episcopalians singing (more like screeching if you ask me) and the Muslims running around in circles after the virgins; it’s the same thing day after day. I did hear a really funny one the today. His kid was running around shouting ”Jesus saves, but only if you don’t piss me off.” What a card.””

“The following week he’s scheduled to help Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries keep oil prices high. They have to keep building palaces and buying prayer rugs – He also believes in keeping those economies strong. Otherwise they won’t be able to buy all those armaments – that keeps your economy strong too. Oil is so important to God, especially since he just purloined a new Ferrari. As he often says, “”No Flow, No Go!””

“He also said that he was going to Davos to help sort out more problems with the world economy. He thinks it’s like the Tower of Babel there. All the important leaders are yakking it up, of course, except for reps from the poor countries. Stupid blood suckers – always wanting something for nothing. That’s my comment, not his. Well, here I am, just mouthing off and not letting you get a word in edgewise. How can I help you?”

“I wanted to ask God why he wasn’t helping all the starving people, along with stopping the wars in the Congo and Sudan? In addition, why was he sending all the “natural” disasters? Those things are killing hundreds of thousands.””

“Don, it’s obvious that you don’t understand why he doesn’t intervene in these things. Haven’t you heard that famous saying “It’s God’s will?” He got very tired of performing miracles and not getting the credit he deserves. My god (ooops), don’t you remember the parable of the loaves and fishes. All that the starving people have to do is just pray and before you know it here comes billions of sardines and crackers. He has shown the way!”"

“That makes some sense, Adolph, but what about the Muslims and non-Christians? What if they’re starving and homeless?"

“Don, are you trying to blame God for not sending people down to earth to show them the way? What about Jerry Falwell, Ann Coulter, all those popes and crusaders, Fundamentalists, Mike Huckabee, Tammy Fay and Jim? They just don’t listen, these non-Christians. Just too bad! Certainly he’s tried thousands of times to help them see the way. He also doesn’t get credit for giving the human race the ability to come up with ideas for helping the crippled. What about all those wonderful God created inventions, like crutches, canes, iron lungs – well, you get the idea, don’t you? I hope you don’t think the human race gave a crap until he came up with those ideas?”

“Yes, Adolph, I just didn’t think of it that way. So sorry. But what about the starving Christians? Why are they suffering too?”

“Those are the people who don’t like dogs!”

“Don’t like dogs?

“I hate to tell you but there isn’t anything to this thing about sin. Sin doesn’t exist. It was invented to keep people in power. It’s that simple. If you put the fear of God into people, they will do anything for you.”

“In point of fact once you die your soul appears before the gate (and it’s not pearly). The guy at the gate (who looks a little like Ernest Borgnine), asks you only one question – “Do you like Dogs.” That’s it! If yes, poof and you’re in. No, and he pulls a lever and down the chute you go. Women go into a room with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Jude Law, and for the really old women, Cary Grant. Men go into a room with (oh, I was going to say with Brittany Spears, but she’s a little chunky so God threw her out). But, for the young guys there’s Paris Hilton (if you’ve seen her video you know why she’s there), Angela Jolie, and the much older guys get to be with Bridgette Bardot and Raquel Welch.”

“Hell, Adolph (oops, didn’t mean to say that). That doesn’t seem like punishment to me!”

“Don, Cary Grant is the only dead one in the bunch. All those actors and actresses are robots! They all have severe halitosis and missing their genitals. How’s that for punishment.”

“Is that how you got into heaven, Adolph. Did you have dogs?”

“Well, being a German, and having done a few things I’m not terribly proud of (except for my paper hanging skills), I floated up here and thought I didn’t stand a chance. But, I was extremely kind to my German Shepherds - slimed my way in here – no problem. Did you know that Sadam had dogs? He’s around here somewhere.”

“Anything else I can help you with, Don?”

“I was hoping that you had a library on religion. Thought I might borrow a few books, if you have a travelling library, that is.”

“Of course we have. But it’s huge – millions of books, sorted by the type of religion you want to research. It’s through the door marked “fiction". We’re waiting for Tom Cruise to get here, though. Desperately need someone well versed in books about space invaders. Believe it or not we don’t have any non-fiction books on religion. We’ve got the space but somehow when these types of books arrive they seem to be in ashes.”

“Don, sorry but I have to leave you – my phone is backed up with other people wanting to speak to God. Hope I was some help to you?”

“Yes, Adolph, you certainly were. Thank you and Dog bless you.”

The Magic Pills

The Magic Pills . . .

For those of you who don’t know, I live in a place far far away . . . in a magic place for geezers called The Villages, Fl. It’s a great place to live, honestly. Sixty-thousand older people with at least 90 percent over the age of “nearer my god to thee.” Almost everyone here owns their home outright, almost as many golf carts as cars (or maybe more). What is so wonderful is that some outrageous number of them are Republicans (read conservative), and they all watch Fox News and radios tuned to Rush Limbaugh. A great deal of them don’t cook (restaurants galore), and they have lots of money to spend. Real Americans!

I’ve lived here for over six years and haven’t regretted a day of it – up in the morning to sunshine – everyone waves at you (the village wave – which signals “have a nice day!”) There are no funeral homes here (and no children) and I believe no one wants to be reminded that the “spirit world” will be upon them sooner than later. The only reality of that is probably Sunday morning when the churches here are filled to the brim – I assume that since there is very little they can do to break the commandments at their age, forgiveness from the Almighty is ezeeee to get. Of course it’s much more difficult for an agnostic like me to seek forgiveness since the only ones who can absolve me are real people and they are a tough bunch to satisfy – a crown of thorns is not enough.

A few generalizations about people in The Villages: Most of them have led productive lives, many of them as blue collar workers. They raised families, paid taxes, and had the normal problems – financial and otherwise. Most of them never bitched about taxes as long as they were for schools, roads, and wars . . . good, upstanding, giving Americans - more liberal than conservative.

And then the two magic pills appeared that transformed them into conservatives!

Pill #1 – Social Security

The day your first Social Security check arrives is the first milestone. If you were not interested in your government or voting it struck you over the head that you now had a stake in the government – and now became part of the “poof heads on social security.” Your theme now becomes “Don’t screw with Social Security.” If you’re not old enough to remember there was a presidential candidate named Goldwater – who, while running for president – said that Social Security had to be fixed. The electorate hung him up to dry – and Goldie is now with his maker – and a lesson learned by others running for office – don’t screw with SocSec.

Pill #2

Your 65^th birthday has arrived. Medicare is here!!!!!!!

This is the best, most wonderful program ever invented by politicians – bar none.

Never mind, please, that between the Iraq war and Medicare, this nation will be broke before you can say Rumpel . . . Rumplesk . . . oh never mind.

I think it’s wonderful that I (we) get such a great gift from working Americans (if you’re not working you’re not paying taxes, right?) Am I bitching about this wonderful gift – no and yes. No because I’ve had two major operations in the last eight years and have had to pay almost nothing. I was able, thanks to Medicare, to be able to keep my house, wife, dog, car, golf cart, SocSec, and my Ira. What could be better? So, mister politician – don’t you dare f…k with my Medicare! And now listen here – I paid taxes for schools etc. while I was working and had kids – but now it’s different – my new battle cry is “No more taxes!”

What am I complaining about then?

How about the family whose husband (or wife) or both become unemployed? Do I have to be a liberal to feel that a family who is in desperate straights has to make decisions to buy food, pay rent, or buy medical insurance? Hmmmmmmmm . . . “well darling, we just won’t buy as much beer this month.” Our conservative approach seems to have punched a large hole in this safety net. They’ll just have to wait until they get old to get that extra money to survive. Am I pushing for Universal Health Care? Of course I am. Will people cheat to beat the system? Of course they will? Will you hear stories about those who cheat? You bet. Will you hear stories about people who don’t cheat and absolutely need health care? Of course not!

I have tons and tons of stories I could tell you about welfare cheaters – all second hand of course. So and so “saw” someone on their cell phone while cashing out with food stamps at Pulbix, and then she got into a nice convertible and drove off! Or, “I heard of a guy who actually sold the family food stamps to buy drugs! Can you imagine that?”

For you ordinary taxpayers, wait for the pills.

Oooops – I just saw smoke coming out of my ears – have to call the fire department.

Have a nice day!